Mike's Running Tips
for 2020
Mike Wallace is an avid runner and a founding member of The Shelby Roadrunners.  Mike has supplied the running group with training tips weekly for the last 15 years!!   
A side stitch can be "sew" painful.
Is it possible for a tall runner to run short?
In icy conditions, will it help to tie your shoes in “slip knots”?
People wo are opposed to running in cold weather have a higher level of “anti-freeze”!
Marathon training is defined as a long distance relationship. 
Runners who talk less on snow-covered roads let their shoes do the “yaking”!
In the sport of running, the only subs we have are sub-zero temps.
Statistics show most runners have a heart condition. They love to run. 
People who run in worn out shoes are more self-absorbed!
More women runners get hit by cars than do men because it is called a “bump her.”
Runners who wear a watch have “time on their hands” regardless of Daylight Saving Time.
Runners who don’t use soap commit a fragrant foul!
It's called a running "club" because it encourages you to "stick" with it.
If you can vision other runners as cars, it can help you maintain a safe distance.
With the phobia about germs, you can keep cars at bay by spitting in their direction while running. 
Our running group is special but they can be a little stand offish! 
A dry sense of humor is helpful for April showers.
If you have trouble spacing 6 feet when running just try to stay out of spitting range. 
People who do the mini 500 are easy to track!
In the month of May, 30 degrees should reference a turn or an incline not the temperature! 
The time running with friends passes so quickly…like it “flu” by!
It is no longer politically correct to say you went running with some of your cronies!
Recording daily runs keeps you from being listless.
People who think it is too hot to run are temperature mental!
Never ask a person named Patrick for running advice or you will get a Pat answer.  
It's better to be skinny than skinned knee.
Can you run a 100 yard dash without looking dashing?
Runners who hold hands high while running get up in arms if their technique is criticized.
Running fast in a thunderstorm is running at lightning speed.
If you carry a few extra pounds and run in the rain, does it become saturated fat?  
A summer run challenge…as if summer isn’t challenging enough. 
In the winter they always say to dress like it is 10 degrees warmer, but where are the guidelines for heat index?
If masks become a requirement for running, get one that does not cover your eyes. 
It is nearly impossible to look cool running in August.
Virtual races would be more popular if they accepted virtual payment.
Are people who have bifocals more inclined to run twice a day?
You might be a runner if asked to name your favorite band and you list a headband brand.
Can a large runner join a small running group?
It is difficult to cut corners when running in a circle. 
Do runners who run in the fog remember that they ran?
Sun block doesn’t really work as you can still see the sun. 
If a can of spray paint doesn’t work, is it being cantankerous?
When asked if I have ever run a sub 6 minute mile, the best answer is “not on my watch.”
Runners who dress as a skeleton take a lot of ribbing!