Mike's Running Tips
for 2023
Mike Wallace is an avid runner and a founding member of The Shelby Roadrunners.  Mike has supplied the running group with training tips weekly for the last 19 years!!   
In 2023, pace the miles to save the knees!
In 2023, pace the miles to save the knees.
Running to improve glutes is best done Monday through Friday to avoid weak ends!
People who run consistently on the road are on a running street!
Your slowest run mile should never be recorded, at least not on my watch!
If you leave footprints when running on blacktop, remember it is not your fault. It’s asphalt!
There are no detective shows about Alaska because all the crimes are cold cases. 
If you sign up for a duathlon but quit before the bike ride, did you back pedal?
Runners who find dollar bills on a run tend to buck the system. 
Do runners who live near Niagara see more falls?
Can runners improve their times by drinking running water?
People who run the same route repeatedly surely enjoy reruns!
There is a new medical term for runners who don’t wear winter garb: Lack-coat intolerant!
People who run on Easter know egg-actly what to expect. 
Running streaks involve more clothing than you might think!
If visibility is 4 miles and you are running 3 miles, why can’t you see the finish line?
Place a dryer sheet in your running shoes for more Bounce in your step. 
People who have a vested interest in running don’t always wear a vest. 
Technical shirts tend to sell out quickly because stores get a run on them. 
People who think running is a non-contact sport clearly have not face planted on a sidewalk.
If you fail to lace up your shoes for a run is it a foot strike issue?
If you get a catch in your knee pulling up your running shorts, are you a hitchhiker?
Runners can justify slowing down in the summer because “flew” season is over. 
Very slow runners can often be spotted a mile away!
Running is not always positive. Running out of money is one such example. 
Senior discount is when no one takes an older runner seriously. 
Independence Day is the perfect time to run “fourth”!
If you run with a heat index above 98 degrees, are you running a temperature?
If wind affects a heat index, does it become a windex?
In the summer heat, it is good to greet other runners with a “Hi” and a drate. 
Do runners who use sunscreen seem more wired?
Couch potatoes tend to not run in families. 
Getting some people to talk while they are running is a mute point.
Runners who iron their clothes while wearing them end up with brand names. 
Skipping a group run is pointless; otherwise, no one would’ve shown up last week when it was so hot! 
Of course your pace should be labored on Labor Day. 
If your running shoes are too tight, a spray of silicone will make them feel larger.
A PR should be renamed: Time Of Your Life!
Keep your runs positive by avoiding horses. They are neigh sayers!